Am I a Friend or Am I a Foe?

You have no idea how much people hate me for ruining their life. You have no idea how many times I have let them down in the dump, how many times they have thanked me in return for saving their life and how many lives I have instantly killed. Like a ticking bomb, it’s just a matter of time until they call me as their worst enemy. Why? Because there is nothing that can stop me from interfering their life. Or even, by any chance, your life. I’m pretty sure we are bound to cross each other’s path. So let me tell you about that.

It’s fun to watch the bulb lightened up inside their head, their eyes began to sparkle like a blast of fireworks. Excitement was rising in the air, their heart rate speeded up, trembling knees and all that jazz. They would talk about it as long as they wanted to. They would talk about it with people whom mattered the most, inner or outer circle of friends, or even to the strangers in the social media. They would write it down on their calendar, little post it notes, or diary as a reminder. The best part is, they would put all of their heart to it and keep it there as long as they could. I love the excitement.

“You know what, i have no idea what I’m doing”, I heard some of them say. As i expected, they would come to the realization of what truly a life is. They would be constantly questioning themselves without knowing the answer. “But oh well, I will keep going”, they continued. On the other hand, “This is not working”, is the talk of the town. Just like any other, they would questioned everything. However, a giant thick wall bounded to get in their way. It escalated from the ground into a skyscraper just in front of them. It’s either they could not see the big prize over the wall, or they could not reach the top floor to get them. This is the time when the ticking bomb would have exploded, destructing atoms outside and inside of their body, leaving muddle of clouds right on their face. I will not tell you how long will it last, cause it varies. But I will tell you that at this moment in time, I would have been carefully calculating and analyzing the right moment for me to fit in.

The result? instant blindness in all respects. It was their decision to not look at the reality anymore. Thus, the other bulb lightened up inside their head, telling them to run, stop, drink that bottle of beer or eat that pint of ice cream. But it was surprising how they still maintain to say “I am fine. It is all good” though I could see that they are blindly entering the darkest abyss and chose to lock themselves in. It’s called pain alleviation. Just so you know, most of them stuck and crumpled in their darkest abyss forever. This was the part where I started to plunge in.

Given enough time, they started to unravel and be frank to themselves. I could listen to their big exhalation every time they remembered what just happened. They opened doors for forgiveness and acceptance for themselves, but not to others.  “He’s the one who made it worse”, they said genuinely ignorant of guile. They were ready to turn the world upside down to creatively justify. Alas, no wonder some of them did not make their way out of the abyss and started to call my name as their biggest enemy. Or worse, their nightmare.

Some of them managed to get out of the darkest abyss. Some of them think back and just accept the fact that they did make a whole lot of mess. I could see some of them starting to stare at those new blank pages or spent most of their time day dreaming. They now open doors for themselves and others. And foremost, they open one door for me. They let me slip in and shake their hands. Then they thanked me for my existence. It took sometime for them to not just accept me verbally as a “yes” but also taking me as a part of responsibility.

It’s fun to watch the bulb lightened up inside their head, their eyes began to sparkle like a blast of fireworks. Excitement was rising in the air, their heart rate speeded up, trembling knees and all that jazz — once again. This time, they would not simply talk or write about it. They would not only do it with all of their heart, but they would cautiously fixing what’s broken, know the best way to conquer the wall and blindness. They could also help their friend who stuck in the abyss and lead them to the right path. When it was the time for us to crossed each other’s path again, it would be no surprise.

Though I am their biggest enemy, their worst fear, or their savior, I am not fatal. I am part of their journey to reach their desired destination, because I am also not final. By this story, i hope you remember who i am and what i would do to you and your kind. I would not stop finding my way to fit in. Because without me, there will never be a success story.